1. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
  2. We all know that light travels faster than sound. That’s why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  3. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
  4. Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
  5. The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.
  6. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.
  7. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
  8. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they are both disappointed.
  9. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
  10. If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
  11. The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.
  12. With fame, I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.
  13. People are like bicycles. They can keep their balance only as long as they keep moving.
  14. Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.
  15. The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
  16. Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
  17. As a human being, one has been endowed with just enough intelligence to be able to see clearly how utterly inadequate that intelligence is when confronted with what exists.
  18. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.
  19. The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.
  20. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
  21. You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
  22. If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.
  23. If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to people or things.
  24. I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.
  25. Mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.